The Scapegoat
There is something that has been nagging at the back of my mind for the past little while, and I think I've just put my finger on it. Before I tell you what it is, I need to disclaimer this by saying that I am a huge part of what's bugging me about this, and my ranting about it is by no means excusing myself from bearing the majority of the responsibility for this. Ok the legal department is giving me the thumbs up, so I can continue.
The word BUSY.
I am SICK of it. I'm so sick of it. It is tossed around casually, and covers all manner of sins. It is the world's biggest scapegoat. A patsy for all the things that you don't want to do. When a friend you haven't seen for a while calls, and you don't call them back for two weeks, what do you say when you finally get around to dialing their number.
"Sorry it's been so long, I've just been so busy"
When you haven't done your dishes in 2 weeks, and your house smells like mouldy cheese and there are cobwebs above your bathroom mirror, how do you justify the mess?
"Wow, what a mess, I've just been so busy I haven't had time to clean"
When you realize that the "new" book you bought from Chapters is actually 6 months old, and you still haven't cracked the cover, what's your excuse for not reading it?
"Gee, I can't wait to read this, I've just been too busy"
BULL!
You've had time to see 6 movies, buy groceries, go to K-Days, lay around for a whole Sunday, read the new In Style magazine cover to cover, watch every episode of Mythbusters, and sit at Cafe Dabar for 3 hours, but you couldn't find 10 minutes to clean your bathroom? That's a load.
Ok, now before I get myself into trouble, I will say that I'm not advocating being a workaholic and running yourself ragged doing all of this stuff and spending 2 hours on the phone at a time trying to get back to everybody who calls, and stay up till 3 AM cleaning your house...I'm just saying let's be honest with ourselves. Let's not exchange the word "busy" for the word priority.
I will freely admit that it is more of a priority for me to watch movies and Mythbuster's with Derek than it is to be sure my dishes are done everyday. I would rather be reading In Style than a novel (sometimes) and I don't like spending time trying to plan out my weeks on the phone, who I will see when, and what night I may be able to scrounge for myself, however, I am not too busy to do this stuff.
I guess I'm just sick of hearing "busy" in place of "don't want too". I'm too busy to email - No, you don't want too. I'm too busy to clean - No, it's not at the top of your list. I've been to busy too call you back - No, you put something in priority sequence above making that call.
Let's just call it what it is. Myself included. I need to have a little better priorities when it comes to dealing with people. The cleaning and reading, not such a big deal, but when it comes to not returning phone calls and emails, I need to smarten up and value people a little bie more. I don't always remember that sometimes the 5 minutes it takes to phone someone back or shoot them an email might strengthen a bond, or make someone's day, I know it makes mine. And if I can't see them that week due to other priorities, well then maybe next week. At least I'll have taken the time.
So here is my soemn plea, as much to myself as to others; Let's stop using busy as an excuse for our likes, dislikes, and other priorities. Call it what it is, and do it with love.
Ok Done now.
The word BUSY.
I am SICK of it. I'm so sick of it. It is tossed around casually, and covers all manner of sins. It is the world's biggest scapegoat. A patsy for all the things that you don't want to do. When a friend you haven't seen for a while calls, and you don't call them back for two weeks, what do you say when you finally get around to dialing their number.
"Sorry it's been so long, I've just been so busy"
When you haven't done your dishes in 2 weeks, and your house smells like mouldy cheese and there are cobwebs above your bathroom mirror, how do you justify the mess?
"Wow, what a mess, I've just been so busy I haven't had time to clean"
When you realize that the "new" book you bought from Chapters is actually 6 months old, and you still haven't cracked the cover, what's your excuse for not reading it?
"Gee, I can't wait to read this, I've just been too busy"
BULL!
You've had time to see 6 movies, buy groceries, go to K-Days, lay around for a whole Sunday, read the new In Style magazine cover to cover, watch every episode of Mythbusters, and sit at Cafe Dabar for 3 hours, but you couldn't find 10 minutes to clean your bathroom? That's a load.
Ok, now before I get myself into trouble, I will say that I'm not advocating being a workaholic and running yourself ragged doing all of this stuff and spending 2 hours on the phone at a time trying to get back to everybody who calls, and stay up till 3 AM cleaning your house...I'm just saying let's be honest with ourselves. Let's not exchange the word "busy" for the word priority.
I will freely admit that it is more of a priority for me to watch movies and Mythbuster's with Derek than it is to be sure my dishes are done everyday. I would rather be reading In Style than a novel (sometimes) and I don't like spending time trying to plan out my weeks on the phone, who I will see when, and what night I may be able to scrounge for myself, however, I am not too busy to do this stuff.
I guess I'm just sick of hearing "busy" in place of "don't want too". I'm too busy to email - No, you don't want too. I'm too busy to clean - No, it's not at the top of your list. I've been to busy too call you back - No, you put something in priority sequence above making that call.
Let's just call it what it is. Myself included. I need to have a little better priorities when it comes to dealing with people. The cleaning and reading, not such a big deal, but when it comes to not returning phone calls and emails, I need to smarten up and value people a little bie more. I don't always remember that sometimes the 5 minutes it takes to phone someone back or shoot them an email might strengthen a bond, or make someone's day, I know it makes mine. And if I can't see them that week due to other priorities, well then maybe next week. At least I'll have taken the time.
So here is my soemn plea, as much to myself as to others; Let's stop using busy as an excuse for our likes, dislikes, and other priorities. Call it what it is, and do it with love.
Ok Done now.
posted by Rach at 11:29 AM
4 Comments:
You do of course realise that you have now created an inside joke within our circle. 'hey Matt/Chuck you want to go for coffee tomorrow. No I'm busy, tee, hee, hee.' Well played.
I thinks it's the same strain of the dreaded "how's it going" disease. Most people don't really want to know anything about you and they certainly don't want a half hour rundown of all your problems. Let's just say hello and move on if we don't have the time to really listen and care.
Good points Rach! (or maybe it was just one really long one)
I would have finished reading this post but I was too busy.
You knew SOMEONE had to do it. Come on!
Walter Bruggerman has a great little phrase that sums up a lot of my life: "the myth of scarcity". The more I think about it, the deeper it hits me - we always want to say "there isn't enough.." and then fill in the blank with whatever commodity it is - time, money, energy, patience, love. We think there is never enough (all we have is 5 loaves and 2 fish, but what is that among so many?), and we fail to step over into being generous with what we have. I always fear that there is never enough to go around...
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