A Good Old Fashioned Bad Day
So you know when a day is already bad before it even starts, because of the way you feel, not because of any of the events, and you go to work hoping beyond hope that the events will help to improve your mood, but it's just not in the cards for you and everything goes wrong on top of your already slightly sour disposition? Yeah that's today.
I had a small freak out in the car yesterday over all the things that must be done before I move, and even more about all the people I want to see and the lack of weekends that I have available. I am so afraid that people are actually going to be MAD at me if I don't get a chance to do everything we have breifly discussed doing before I leave. And as much as I want to do all of this stuff, I have neither the money nor the drive to fit it all in. Don't get me wrong, I want to go for coffee, but a camping trip is probably out, and mostly I just want to go to sleep. I have an inkling that "d'ya wanna help me pack?" Is not going to be as fun as "West Edmonton Mall Waterpark".
I am training somebody at work who just can't seem to catch on. First of all patience is NOT my strong suit, but I have aquitted myself of that flaw admirably (at least the first four times that I repeat myself) however, even Mother Theresa would be ready to open a can of Whoopass on this girl. Her voice has no volume but loud, 90% of her questions I have already answered, she has taken all my work and is doing it wrong, and doesn't understand when I try to help her correct it. And now my boss wants to bring in another person for me to train, while I will be taking on a whole new job for a week while Lisa is away. This is not feasible, and I told him so, and he replied "That was a pretty lame-ass excuse" (I'm pretty sure he was joking...but still) So I turned my back and walked out of his office, biting back the tears that I know were not necessary.
I was talking to Amanda about difference kinds of worry, and some are blatant outright crisis forms where there's lots to talk about and decide. And others are silent forms, where you know you can't change anything, and you just have to plod ahead, but the churning of your stomach belies to calm of your exterior.
Well I'm putting my lack of calm out there, my fears of rejection from the friends that I love, my trials about work, and I hope to not be labelled a complainer or whiny or anything....oh wait....too late! ;-) Sorry for those who get that, cheap shot, but it was begging to be taken!
ARGH and it just keeps getting worse!!!! 3 hours...I can do 3 hours.
I had a small freak out in the car yesterday over all the things that must be done before I move, and even more about all the people I want to see and the lack of weekends that I have available. I am so afraid that people are actually going to be MAD at me if I don't get a chance to do everything we have breifly discussed doing before I leave. And as much as I want to do all of this stuff, I have neither the money nor the drive to fit it all in. Don't get me wrong, I want to go for coffee, but a camping trip is probably out, and mostly I just want to go to sleep. I have an inkling that "d'ya wanna help me pack?" Is not going to be as fun as "West Edmonton Mall Waterpark".
I am training somebody at work who just can't seem to catch on. First of all patience is NOT my strong suit, but I have aquitted myself of that flaw admirably (at least the first four times that I repeat myself) however, even Mother Theresa would be ready to open a can of Whoopass on this girl. Her voice has no volume but loud, 90% of her questions I have already answered, she has taken all my work and is doing it wrong, and doesn't understand when I try to help her correct it. And now my boss wants to bring in another person for me to train, while I will be taking on a whole new job for a week while Lisa is away. This is not feasible, and I told him so, and he replied "That was a pretty lame-ass excuse" (I'm pretty sure he was joking...but still) So I turned my back and walked out of his office, biting back the tears that I know were not necessary.
I was talking to Amanda about difference kinds of worry, and some are blatant outright crisis forms where there's lots to talk about and decide. And others are silent forms, where you know you can't change anything, and you just have to plod ahead, but the churning of your stomach belies to calm of your exterior.
Well I'm putting my lack of calm out there, my fears of rejection from the friends that I love, my trials about work, and I hope to not be labelled a complainer or whiny or anything....oh wait....too late! ;-) Sorry for those who get that, cheap shot, but it was begging to be taken!
ARGH and it just keeps getting worse!!!! 3 hours...I can do 3 hours.
posted by Rach at 12:34 PM
6 Comments:
You know, I have no problem with you not having enough time or drive, but when you start splitting your infinitives, man that gets me mad. It's "not to be" not "to not be". The "not" is not a "not" that can be a "not" that gets between the "be" and the "to" because the "to be" and the "not to be" is the question, whether it is nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune or to take arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing end them...holy crap I should write some of this stuff down!
Anywho, where was I? Oh yes, when exactly do you move and can we help?
Wow.... you're even more off the deep end then I thought... I like it!
Ummm I move on the 30th of August, and I could definately use the orginization of your wife in terms of packing, and you could always come to do the heavy lifting and sarcasm shooting....I am done work on August 12, so much packing will ensue after that.
Thank you for offering too, I really appreciate it.
Sweetie don't worry about camping or waterparks, the big secret is that we actually just want to see you. I am perfectly content to have you come over to watch a movie, and I guess I think you're worth a $4 coffee, so I can spring for it ;-). And I'm sure packing can be entertaining in some way or another, so let me know if you want my help. Although I suspect at this rate you will have about 10 people helping you pack within a few days.
Hey Babe! You know I'm here for you 100% and if we don't have time to do much else than pack before you leave... well... then... ROAD TRIP!!! I'll be down to the coast in no time to see you. But please at least let me help you pack-I sing, I dance, we'd have a good time, perhaps even more fun than having to restrain my abounding talents in a coffee shop. :) No really, call me when you need a hand, and I'll be there. Try not to feel too much pressure beyond packing and getting ready to go. Everyone loves you and will understand (they better, I am not a force to be reckoned with). Make this time as enjoyable for yourself as you can so that moving out to BC can be a happy memory for you in the future. I love you!
Rach, its going to be okay. Don't worry about us. Nothing you say or do can affect our relationship. I promise. Take care of your crap.
Wow I miss you Rachel. I come home in 3 weeks (Aug 14) When do you move? I didn't even know you where moving right away. I've been crazy busy and haven't been able to read your site. Are you excited? Do you have your own place there or are you moving in with your parents for a while? Are you taking school? Sorry I have a ton of questions. I just read your entry about calling the radio station. I didn't know you and Derek went to the radio staion. Thats really funny Rachel. I could definatly see you guys doing it. Anyways, I miss you like crazy and hopefully will see you when I get back?
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