I See B.C.

Ok so I am here now.

Please regale me with your comments of how much you miss me.

Or don't...

...But I'll mail you a cheque if you do.

Fitting it all in

Ok. So there has been a decided lack of blogging on my part. I could apologize, but it's my blog and I really don't feel the need. :-)

Aside from the lack of internet, attempting to pack up my house and being mind-numblingly ill, Derek and I have experienced a big loss. His grandfather passed away a week and a half ago. We were with him when he died. That's all I can write about it now. I can't expound. Just can't.

So tonight I have been attempting to catch up on the blogging that has passed me by since my last internet fix. I can't help feeling a bit overwhelmed with information, philosophy, secrets, some of which I knew, some of which I probably needed to hear, and some of which I can't seem to fit into my psyche? realm of comprehension? world view? I don't know. They just don't fit.

I am a selfish girl. I want my life to be for me. It is in my personal nature to be generous or compassionate, to want to give time and energy - at least to a point. And yet sometimes I find myself putting that aside to go for the glittering things that catch my eye and sparkle oh-so-insistantly until I get caught up in their tantalazing beauty. I can't help but think that rejecting one of the few positive qualities that is built into my nature in order to be selfish is the worst kind of selfishness. This fact alone makes me most reluctant to get involved in any organization which may cause me to examine my love quotient, or my selflesness quotient. Is it because I am ashamed? or because they may cause me to change and I wish to pleasantly reject this reality and substitue my own? I don't know. Both?

And again I have made it about me. All about me. I know that I will never be enough. I will never have enough, give enough, do enough, be enough, love enough. I am bad, and don't even want to change. Fortunately, I am living with almost 7 billion others who are the exact same way. I don't need to feel alone. And like Chuck says, my salvation is assured. I am loved. Now I just need to understand why, through careful thought, prayer and study, and all the while and above all, allow that love to flow through me to others. Not because of me, or for me. Through me. Only a vessel.

Ok so that is probably the most random and cathartic thing I have written yet, please excuse the complete disregard of grammar and structure. I am too tired to consider such things for now. Thank you, and Goodnight.

Mother of all Movie Lists....Be Prepared!

1. Take this list and post it into your blog, and mark the movies you've seen.
2. Add five more movies to the end of the list.
3. Count how many X's you have. If you've seen more than 30 movies for every hundred in the list, you are DEFINITELY a movie Buff
4. BOLD the movies you saw in the movie theatre. If you've seen more than 30 movies per hundred in the theater, you're a movie-licous! (Just for you Chuck!)

I've seen 47% of the movies and 15% of them in the theater – Bet I could’ve backpacked Europe for that amount of money….

(x) 1. Napoleon Dynamite
(x) 2. Saw
( ) 3. White Noise
(x) 4. White Oleander
(x) 5. Anger Management
( ) 6. 50 First Dates
( ) 7. Jason X
(x) 8. Scream
(x) 9. Scream 2
(x) 10. Scream 3
( ) 11. Scary Movie
( ) 12. Scary Movie 2
(x) 13. Scary Movie 3
(x) 14. American Pie
(x) 15. American Pie 2
(x) 16. American Wedding
(x) 17. Harry Potter
(x) 18. Harry Potter 2
(x) 19. Harry Potter 3
(x) 20. Resident Evil 1
( ) 21. Resident Evil 2
(x) 22. The Wedding Singer
( ) 23. Little Black Book
(x) 24. The Village
( ) 25. Donnie Darko
( ) 26. Lilo & Stitch
(x) 27. Finding Nemo
(x) 28. Finding Neverland
( ) 29. 13 Ghosts
(x) 30. Signs
( ) 31. The Grinch
( ) 32. Texas Chainsaw Massacre
( ) 33. White Chicks
( ) 34. Butterfly Effect
(x) 35. 13 Going on 30
(x) 36. I, Robot
(x) 37. Dodgeball
( ) 38. Universal Soldier
(x) 39. Lemony Snickett’s “A Series Of Unfortunate Events”
(x) 40. Along Came A Spider
(x) 41. Deep Impact
( ) 42. Kingpin
(x) 43. Never Been Kissed
(x) 44. Meet The Parents
( ) 45. Meet The Fockers
( ) 47. A Cinderella Story
(x) 48. The Terminal
(x) 49. The Lizzie McGuire Movie
( ) 50. Passport to Paris
(x) 51. Dumb & Dumber
( ) 52. Dumb & Dumberer
( ) 53. Final Destination
(x) 54. Final Destination 2
( ) 55. Halloween
( ) 56. Halloween 2
( ) 57. Halloween 3
( ) 58. Halloween 4
( ) 59. Halloween 5
(x) 60. H20
( ) 61. Halloween: the Resurrection
(x) 62. The Ring
( ) 63. The Ring 2
(x) 64. Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle
(x) 65. Practical Magic
(x) 66. Chicago
( ) 67. Ghost Ship
(x) 68. From Hell
( ) 69. Team America: World Police
(x) 70. Hellboy
(x) 71. Secret Window
( ) 72. I Am Sam
(x) 73. The Whole Nine Yards
(x) 74. The Day After Tomorrow
( ) 75. Child's Play
( ) 76. Bride of Chucky
(x) 77. Ten Things I Hate About You
(x) 78. Just Married
(x) 79. Gothika
( ) 80. A Nightmare on Elm Street
( ) 81. Sixteen Candles
(x) 82. Bad Boys 2
( ) 83. Joy Ride
(x) 84. Se7en
(x) 85. Oceans Eleven.
(x) 86. Oceans Twelve
(x) 87. Identity
( ) 88. Lone Star
( ) 89. Bedazzled
(x) 90. Predator
( ) 91. Predator II
(x) 92. Independence Day
( ) 93. Cujo
( ) 94. A Bronx Tale
(x) 95. Darkness Falls
( ) 96. Christine
(x) 97. ET
( ) 98. Children of the Corn
( ) 99. My Boss' Daughter
( ) 100. Maid in Manhattan
( ) 101. Frailty
( ) 102. Best Bet
(x) 103. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x) 104. She's All That
(x) 105. Calendar Girls
(x) 106. Sideways
(x) 107. Mars Attacks
(x) 108. Event Horizon
(x) 109. Ever After
(x) 110. Forrest Gump
( ) 112. Big Trouble in Little China
(x) 113. X-Men
(x) 114. X-Men 2
( ) 115. Jeepers Creepers
( ) 116. Jeepers Creepers 2
(x) 117. Catch Me If You Can
( ) 118. The Others
(x) 119. Freaky Friday
( ) 120. Reign of Fire
( ) 121. Man on Fire
(x) 122. Braveheart
(x) 123. Cruel Intentions
( ) 124. The Hot Chick
( ) 125. Swimfan
( ) 126. Miracle
( ) 127. Friday Night Lights
(x) 128. Old School
( ) 129. Ray
(x) 130. The Notebook
( ) 131. K-Pax
(x) 132. Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
(x) 133. Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers.
(x) 134. Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
(x) 135. A Walk to Remember
(x) 136. Sweet Home Alabama
(x) 137. Moulin Rouge
( ) 138. Boogeyman
(x) 139. Hitch
( ) 140. Back Door Sluts 9
(x) 141. The Fifth Element
(x) 142. Star Wars episode I
(x) 143. Star Wars episode II
(x) 144. Star Wars episode IV
(x) 145. Star Wars episode V
(x) 146. Star Wars episode VI
( ) 147. Troop Beverly Hills
( ) 148. Swimming with Sharks
( ) 149. Trainspotting
( ) 150. People under the stairs
( ) 151. Blue Velvet
(x) 152. The Sound of Music
(x) 153. Parent Trap
( ) 154. The Burbs
( ) 155. SLC Punk
(x) 156. Meet Joe Black
( ) 157. Wild Girls
( ) 158. A Clockwork Orange
( ) 159. The Order
(x) 160. Spiderman
(x) 161. Spiderman 2
(x) 162. Amelie
(x) 163. Mean Girls
(x) 164. Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen
(x) 165. Shrek
(x) 166. Shrek 2
(x) 167. The Incredibles
(x) 168. Collateral
(x) 169. The Fast & The Furious
( ) 170. 2 Fast 2 Furious
(x) 171. Sky Captain & The World of Tomorrow
(x) 172. Closer
(x) 173. The Sixth Sense
(x) 174. Artificial intelligence
(x) 175. Love Actually
( ) 176. The Sweetest Thing
( ) 177. Shutter
( ) 178. Ella Enchanted
(x) 179. Princess diaries 1
( ) 180. Princess diaries 2
( ) 181. The Breakfast Club
( ) 182. October Sky
( ) 183. Remember the Titans
(x) 184. Titanic
( ) 185. Boondock Saints
( ) 186. American History X
(x) 187. Fight Club
( ) 188. Heavenly creatures
( ) 189. Stealing Beauty
( ) 190. Like Water For Chocolate
( ) 191. Powwow Highway
( ) 192. Secretary
( ) 193. But I'm A Cheerleader
( ) 194. I <3>Kung Fu Hustle
(x) 204. Sin City
(x) 205. Labyrinth
( ) 206. Much Ado About Nothing
( ) 207. The Cowboy Way
( ) 208. Paulie
( ) 209. Blazing Saddles
( ) 210. Galaxy Quest
( ) 211. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead
( ) 212. Citizen Kane
( ) 213. You Can Count on Me
( ) 214. Young Frankenstein
(x) 215. Raiders of the Lost Ark
( ) 216. Starman
( ) 217. St. Elmos Fire
(x) 218. Coyote Ugly
( ) 219. The Other Sister
(x) 220. Rainman
( ) 221. Little Shop of Horrors
( ) 222. Chasing Amy
( ) 223. House of Sand and Fog
( ) 224. Mildred Pierce
( ) 225. The Big Lebowski
( ) 226. Mallrats
(x) 227. Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind
( ) 228. The Goonies
(x) 229. Starsky & Hutch
(x) 230. Saved!
( ) 231. The Upside of Anger
( ) 232. Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song
( ) 233. The Cat's Meow
( ) 234. The Rutles
( ) 235. Waking Ned Devine
(x) 236. Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) 237. Little Women
(x) 238. Huck Finn
( ) 239. National Treasure
(x) 240. Oh Brother Where Art Thou?
( ) 241. Dick
( ) 242. Howard the Duck
(x) 243. Garden State
( ) 244. Hero
( ) 245. Spinal Tap
(x) 246. Almost Famous
( ) 247. Before Sunrise
( ) 248. Before Sunset
(x) 249. Troy
( ) 250. Gone With The Wind
(x) 251. Chocolat
( ) 252. Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
(x) 253. Now and Then
(x) 254. Romeo and Juliet
(x) 255. Ferris Bueller's Day Off
(x) 256. Grease
( ) 257. Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?
( ) 258. Mr. North
( ) 259. The African Queen
(x) 260. The Wizard of Oz
( ) 261. Country Girl
( ) 262. The Philadelphia Story
( ) 263. Bringing Up Baby
(x) 264. The Aviator
( ) 265. An Affair to Remember
( ) 266. Sabrina (old version)
( ) 267. Holiday
(x) 268. Conspiracy Theory
( ) 269. Stage Door
( ) 270. Rigaletto
( ) 271. White Christmas
(x) 272. Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
(x) 273. The Wedding Planner
( ) 274. Arsenic and Old Lace
( ) 275. A Day at the Races
(x) 276. Willy Wonka
(x) 277. Bend it Like Beckham
(x) 279. A Beautiful Mind
( ) 280. Urban Legend
(x) 281. The Dead Poet's Society
(x) 282. Kill Bill vol. 1
(x) 283. Kill Bill vol. 2
(x) 284. The Royal Tenenbaums
(x) 285. The Life Aquatic
(x) 286. American Beauty
(x) 287. The Shawshank Redemption
(x) 288. Memento
(x) 289. The Phantom of the Opera
(x) 290. Dirty Dancing
( ) 291. Corrina, Corrina
( ) 292. How to Deal
(x) 293. Simply Irresistable
(x) 294. Charlie's Angels
( ) 295. Weird Science
(x) 296. Aladdin
(x) 297. Traffic
( ) 298. Below
(x) 299. Kingdom of Heaven
( ) 300. Pride and Prejudice
( ) 301. The Calcium Kid
( ) 302. Stand by Me
( ) 303. Legend
(x) 304. Matrix
( ) 305. Romper Stomper
(x) 306. Hidalgo
( ) 307. My own private Idaho
( ) 308. Essex Boy
( ) 309. Taxi
(x) 310. Terminator
(x) 311. Terminator 2 Judgment Day
(x) 312. Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith
( ) 313. Hackers
(x) 14. The Princess Bride
( ) 315. Newsies
( ) 316. Wimbledon
( ) 317. Kung Pow: Enter the Fist
( ) 318. Flight of the Pheonix
( ) 319. NAUSICAA
( ) 320. Second Hand Lions
( ) 321. Hotel Rwanda
(x) 322. Life As A House
(x) 323. Beauty and the Beast
( ) 324. Ned Kelly
( ) 325. Holes
(x) 326. SpaceBalls
(x) 327. Bring it on
(x) 328. Twister
( ) 329. Shall we Dance
( ) 330. Singing in the Rain
(x) 331. Gladiator
(x) 332. Center Stage
(x) 333. Vanilla Sky
(x 334. Pulp Fiction
( ) 335. Kate & Leopold
( ) 336. The Pillow Book
(x) 337. Bridget Jones's Diary
(x) 338. Clueless
( ) 339. Dogs In Space
(x) 340. Dogma
( ) 341. Run Lola Run
( ) 342. Detroit Rock City
( ) 343. O
(x) 344. Toy Story
(x) 345. Toy Story 2
( ) 346. Wicker Park
(x) 347. The Forgotten
(x) 348. The Mummy
(x) 349. The Mummy Returns
(x) 350. Death To Smoochie
(x) 351. Bridget Jones's Diary 2: The Edge Of Reason
( ) 352. School Ties
(x) 353. The Score
( ) 354. The Italian Job (either one)
( ) 355. Mean Creek
(x) 356. The Patriot
( ) 357. The Langoliers
( ) 358. Sid and Nancy
(x) 359. Shaun of the Dead
( ) 360. A Tale of Two Sisters
( ) 361. Lost and Delirious
( ) 362. Empire Records
( ) 363. Ginger Snaps
( ) 364. Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!
( ) 365. Eve's Bayou
( ) 366. Requiem For a Dream
( ) 367. Eraserhead
(x) 368. The Virgin Suicides
( ) 369. Sweet Sixteen
( ) 370. All About Eve
(x) 371. That Thing You Do!
( ) 372. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
( ) 373. I'm Gonna Get You Sucka
( ) 374. Stripes
(x) 375. The Truman Show
( ) 377. Rocky Horror Picture Show
( ) 378. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
(x) 379. Van Wilder
(x) 380. From Dusk Till Dawn
( ) 381. Velvet Goldmine
( ) 382. Earth Girls Are Easy
( ) 383. Hedwig and the Angry Inch
( ) 384. All Dogs Go To Heaven
( ) 385. Madagascar
( ) 386. Sorority Boys
( ) 387. A Christmas Story
( ) 388. What's Eating Gilbert Grape?
( ) 389. Little Giants
(x) 390. Crash
( ) 391. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants
( ) 392. The Lady Vanishes
( ) 393. Touch of Evil
( ) 394. The Final Countdown
( ) 395. Tora Tora Tora
( ) 396. The Longest Day
( ) 397. Lady Hawke
(x) 398. A Bug's Life
( ) 399. Amityville Horror (any version)
( ) 400. The Jacket
( ) 401. The Pacifier
() 402. Johnny Dangerously.
( ) 403. The Legend of 1900
( ) 404. Ridicule
( ) 405. Roman Holiday
( ) 406. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
(x) 407. Heat
(x) 408. The Girl Next Door
(x) 409. Girl Interrupted
(x) 410. Mary Shelley’s “Frankenstein”
(x) 411. The God Father (1st one)
(x) 412. Jurassic Park
(x) 413. The Abyss
(x) 414. Back to the Future (1st One)
(x) 415. Saving Private Ryan
(x) 416. Jerry Maguire


Whew, there you have it!

Edit~ Seriously, if you think I'm bad, Derek has seen 62% of these movies!!! Director in the making? I think so.